Careful What You Wish For
Substituting Women With The Bottle
Tit For Tat
Another Double Please
A Good Plan Backfires
All About The Birds & The Bees
Potentially Or Realistically
A Mexican Delicacy
Solutions Are Not Always Obvious
The Lives Of A Cucumber Pickle & Penis
Jail Or Marriage
The Reunited Couple
The Key Benefit Of Oral Sex
Seniors Sex
Turning Around A Threat
A Man & His Midget Wife
Funny Questions & Answers
It's Easy For Bulls
Only In America
Free Lawn Care
Your Horoscope
Don't Push Me Lord
The Defective Parrot's Tale
The Italian Mind At Work
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
A Vampire Goes Into A Pub...
Little Johnny Knows What's Precious
What's In A Name
Funny Facts
You know you're kinky when...
Points To Ponder
You're a modern soul when...
Just a weeee bit...
A Good Deed Indeed
50 Years Of Marital Bliss
Find The Golden Throne
Dumb Blonde Calls Home
Basis For Lincoln-Kennedy Conspiracy
The Cheating Girlfriend Tragedy
Use Of Reverse Psychology Backfires
Little Johnny Has A New Pass-time
If Men Ruled The World
40 Things A Redneck Never Says
I'm Not Saying She's Easy, But...
Fast Thinking At Thirty Thousand Feet
George Dubya Bush's Finer Moments
Misinterpreting The Artist's Message
Things Every Woman Should Know
Be Careful What You Wish For
Curtain Rods
Paying The Price
Why Women Can't Find Mr. Right
Women's Perspective On Men
Good Health Isn't Always A Plus
Comebacks For Ladies
Useful Comical Insults
The Measure Of A Man
Emergency Assistance
Good Employee Does As The Boss Says
A Little Support
Zingers For Husbands From Their Wives
Proof Of Age
You're Never Too Old
The Sad Truth
The Blind Man
And God Created Man
When The Time Is Right
Pay Back
The Anniversary Present
The Single Mom
Daddy, How Was I Born

The Defective Parrot's Tale

A man is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs.

The guy says aloud,"Golly, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird "

"Oh yeah?" the man asks, "Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook.You can't see it because of my feathers."

"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English can't you?"

"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."

The man looks at the $200.00 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."

"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me 'cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!"

The man offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The man is delighted.

One day the man comes home from work and the parrot goes, "Pssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."

"What are you talking about?" asks the man.

"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie."

"WHAT???" the guy says incredulously. "THEN what happened?"

"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.

"NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?"

"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over."

Then the frantic man screams, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"

"Damned if I know. I got an erection and fell off my perch!"

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