Female Prayer...

Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep.

One who's handsome, smart and strong, and who loves to listen long.

One who thinks before he speaks, and when he says he'll call, he won't wait weeks.

I pray that he is gainfully employed, and when I spend his cash, he won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door, massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, who knows what to say to "How big is my behind?"

I pray that this man will love me to no end, and never attempt to hit on my friend.

And as I kneel and pray by my bed, I look at the creep you sent me instead.

Amen.

Male Prayer...

I pray for a deaf, mute, nymphomaniac, with huge boobs, who owns a liquor store.

Amen.