Translations For Wife Speak

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to.

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset.

You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?

I'm not emotional! and I'm not overreacting! = I'm on my period.

Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

We need new curtains = I want new curtains, carpeting, furniture...

Hang the picture there = No, I mean hang it there!

Are you asleep? = I can't sleep.

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate better. = Just agree with me.

Yes = No

No = No

Maybe = No

I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.

Do you like this recipe? = This is easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.

Was that the baby ? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I'm not yelling! = I'm yelling because I think this is important.

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