Religious Jokes
A teacher was testing the children in her Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to Heaven. She asked them, 'If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven ?'
'No!' the children answered.
'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?'
Again, the answer was, 'No!' By now she was starting to smile.
She continued 'Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweets to all the children and loved my husband would that get me into Heaven?'
Again, they all answered, 'No!' She was just bursting with pride for them.
'Well,' she continued, 'Then how can I get into Heaven?'
A six-year-old boy from Glasgow shouted out, "You av tae be f**kin dead!"
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One Sunday the pope wanted to play golf but he shouldn't since it was Sunday. He figured it would be OK if he just play a little bit, so he changed clothes and went out into the green. Up in heaven an angel saw him and reported it to God. However, God didn't do pr say anything.
"Aren't you going to punish him?" the angel asked God.
"Yes, just wait." He replied, as just then the pope hit a beautiful hole in one.
"Well, that's not a punishment!" the angel said in disgust.
"Who is he going to tell?"
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Also see: Don't Push Me Lord | Biblical PMS | The Prayers Of Men & Women | Faith |
Little Johnny In Sunday School | Miscommunication |
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